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Got the greencard - but scared to move now

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Got the greencard - but scared to move now

Postby brooklyn » Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:31 pm

Did anyone else go through this? My DH and I spent so much time focusing on getting his visa, that I now forgot why I wanted it in the first place. I kind of feel like I do want to move to the States, but I also wouldn't mind staying. I just forgot why it was that I wanted to leave so desperately.

We also put ourselves in an ackward position. My DH went back to school, four years ago (pre-recession.) He's now has a masters degree in Law, but he's 40 years old! He didn't do his qualifying law course here, because thats another year of being unemployed. The recession is making it impossible to find any job, let alone a job that would need someone with his qualifications. Its almost as if he has educated himself out of the market!

Now that we have his greencard in hand, I'm afraid to go. I'm actually petrified to leave something comfortable, to go to an 'unknown' place, where I haven't lived, in over 8 years. Am I nuts?
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Postby JoannaV » Sat Sep 25, 2010 9:42 pm

You're planning on leaving the land of the pasty, of course you're crazy!

Seriously though, I'm pretty certain that if you had jobs lined up you wouldn't be worried at all. After all, worst case scenario: you have a wonderful little adventure involving all the American things you like, and then decide to move back to the UK. You will be able to keep your family fed, sheltered, and educated the entire time so it would be a petty mistake, not a life-shattering one.

Personally I didn't go through this, because I had no choice in the move. But it seems it's a common feeling for people after they get the visa: http://forum.diveintoamerica.com/showthread.php?t=1718.

Of course, just because DH has his green card doesn't mean you have to move. But put everything you have into it and it will work out well. Keep focused on the positives and you'll be fine.
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Postby brooklyn » Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:22 pm

Thank you so much Joanna. Its so hard. Im off to read that thread now. Thanks!
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Postby Englishman in Eugene » Wed Sep 29, 2010 7:53 pm

brooklyn wrote:Now that we have his greencard in hand, I'm afraid to go. I'm actually petrified to leave something comfortable, to go to an 'unknown' place, where I haven't lived, in over 8 years. Am I nuts?


You don't get the greencard until after you've arrived in the US, so I'm confused. Are you in the US now or still in the UK?
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Postby Norri » Wed Sep 29, 2010 9:12 pm

UK I believe.

When Brooklyn says "green card in hand" I think she is referring to the visa stamp in her dhs passport, which will of course become a temporary GC after he enters the US.
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Postby apkel » Thu Sep 30, 2010 2:49 pm

I agree Im sure she means the visa...Martin did you go through that at all? Im sure my DH is a little...the whole move thing and I understand as I did it coming here
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Postby JoannaV » Fri Oct 01, 2010 5:57 am

I guess it's the pay-off between DCF and SCF: we had to be apart from our spouses but you guys have the uncertainty of neither of you being settled in the US when you move.
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Postby brooklyn » Fri Oct 01, 2010 6:24 pm

Englishman in Eugene wrote:You don't get the greencard until after you've arrived in the US, so I'm confused. Are you in the US now or still in the UK?


Yes, I am in fact talking about the visa stamp, as Im still in the UK. Sorry for the confusion.
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Postby brooklyn » Fri Oct 01, 2010 6:26 pm

JoannaV wrote:I guess it's the pay-off between DCF and SCF: we had to be apart from our spouses but you guys have the uncertainty of neither of you being settled in the US when you move.


Its so true. We're unsettled in either country, so its really comes down to the toss of a coin. Or maybe Im just starting to appreciate the UK more, because I know I'm leaving it. Either way, its sad, and hard to keep the bigger picture in mind. I'll get there though. :)
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Postby Englishman in Eugene » Sun Oct 03, 2010 1:52 pm

apkel wrote:I agree Im sure she means the visa...Martin did you go through that at all? Im sure my DH is a little...the whole move thing and I understand as I did it coming here


To be honest no, I've missed nothing about living in London except the taste of M&S Hummus. Other brands I've tried here appear to be formulated differently. I now use mild Salsa as my dip of choice.

Our situation was different. Our move was sparked in February 2009 (but had been previously discussed and planned as a longer term goal) by my offer of voluntary redundancy from a job I'd been in for 15 years. If I took the offer I got a nice payout, if I didn't volunteer I could easily be made redundant at any time anyway, without such a nice payout ever possible again. I was thoroughly sick and bored of the job anyway, and the petty office politics of that work environment, so it was a no-brainer. Within the month I had finished work there, and we were planning our move to the US, with the caveat that we visit our intended new home city (Eugene OR) before we send in any Visa paperwork.

We visited Eugene for three weeks in June-July 2009, and loved everything we saw. The day we returned to the UK we sent in the first batch of paperwork, and went through the process you all know or are going through now. In November we got the visa approved, and in December left the UK and arrived in the US for good. There was all the house clearance and stuff going on, which I was able to handle as Ava was still working up until November.

Thus I wasn't leaving a safe, comfortable job for the unknown. We had savings plus my redundancy payout to meet financial demands of the visa requirements. I had looked for temporary work in the UK between Feb and Dec, but in a half-hearted way, as most temp jobs in my field (Credit Control) wanted at least a six month commitment. I did claim unemployment benefit for some of that time.

In Feb 2010 I started part-time work at WalMart - not as much money as I got in the UK to be sure, but I enjoyed the work more than sitting in front of a computer all day, much of it on the phone, and the money was enough to live on. Ava took longer to get a job, but is now employed by the University of Oregon in a role similar to her UK job.
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Postby apkel » Mon Oct 04, 2010 8:34 am

glad its all worked out so well for both of you..

I knew we conectted somehow....25yrs credit controller here !!! and also took a package!
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